Hello 2013...It's Been Awhile

Hello 2013

It’s been awhile since my last blog.  My busy life was rudely interrupted last year by breast cancer.

Luckily, I was able to continue working as a special event planner.  While I tried to keep the situation private my hair gave me away.  Think hair to bald and back again.  My dark brown wig was my new best friend and I was genuinely shocked when my hair grew back grey.   Considering that wedding plans start nine to twelve months ahead of the wedding day, my 2012 brides knew something was up.  I bonded with many of their mothers.

During this time my 22 year old daughter, Jessica, took on an expanded roll as my co-planner.  She grew up in our family’s catering business and was in awe of weddings from the time she could speak.  She had worked and supervised receptions since high school but planning a wedding was a whole new experience.  Last year she met with wedding couples and their families, helped them plan every detail and coordinated the weddings from beginning to end.   With her calming demeanor and easy smile she earned the trust of our bridal couples and never let them down.  It was as though she was born to do this.

And maybe she was.

When Jessica was five she sat by my desk, as she often did, while I finished work so we could go to the park.  As I fielded my last call I noticed her mimicking me.  She lifted her clenched hand to her ear and said “Can I help you?…Do you have a date in mind?…Where will the ceremony be?”

She had it down.

Wedding planning and catering is hard work but it’s also very satisfying.   There’s something about a wedding day that makes every bride beautiful—and it’s not just the perfect hair and make-up.  It’s an overwhelming happiness they can’t seem to contain.  As a planner I try to get every detail right but ultimately the weather is up to Mother Nature, guest arrival is subject to traffic and the minute-by-minute timeline is just a suggestion.  Once the pageantry of the ceremony is over a wedding becomes a great big family party with a life of its own. 

So now we’re well into 2013.  There are new brides ahead, each with a vision of her wedding day.   Some plans seem to pre-date the groom, influenced by the bride's memories of past weddings and a desire to celebrate in her style while still honoring family traditions.  It’s serious business now but in the end there will be tears of happiness and lots of laughter.

Married for 27 years, I remember every detail of my wedding and the birth of my two children--three “highlight days” that make every other day seem ordinary.  Last year reminded me how important family and friends are (in good times and in bad), how quickly the years go by and how fast our children grow up.  

On September 1, 2013 my daughter Jessica is getting married.  We have a lot of planning to do.

Forgotten Venues

I've been reading the wedding blogs and conferring with wedding planners and it seems that a person can't host a wedding in California for under $20,000.  Consider the Napa wine country and you might want to push that to $40,000.  We're not talking about celebrity weddings or weddings of the rich and famous. These are weddings for the average person hosting a wedding between 85 and 150 guests. 

A huge part of the variable is the cost of the venue.  There are so many gorgeous, lush vineyards with mansions, castles, circus tents, etc. to choose from.  There's even a cave blasted into a mountain-side that makes for the perfect candle-lit dinner.  Then there are the public buildings-museums, historical buildings, former military posts-all of which are drop-dead impressive and equally drop-dead expensive.  The idea seems to be that weddings can happen anywhere you can pitch a tent, install porta-potties and drive in a party rental company truck filled with furniture and tableware.  Don't even worry about a kitchen. As I've been told on more than one occasion-caterers love to stage their own kitchens out in the middle of no-where.

With all that said and with no criticism of the trend, what about the brides and grooms out there who don't have that 20,000-40,000 budget? 

I've read in the blogs that you should just elope.  You can get an "elopement package" and have the time of your lives by yourselves.  Who needs Grandma at the wedding anyway?  She only remembered your birthday since you were born and babysat and bought your school fundraising products and watched your games...

If eloping doesn't make it in your family then figure out your budget and keep your venue search as close to home as possible.  Look for places with reasonable prices that already have 90% of what you need for your reception-look at your local restaurants and event centers.  Restaurants and event centers have a roof, a kitchen, bathrooms, tables and chairs, parking, staff, and a huge amount of experience in helping with all types of celebrations and receptions.  Be upfront about your budget and let the in-house event planner or owner-manager explain what they can do for you within that budget.   

Visit Weddings in Marin for wedding service providers who are located in Marin and know Marin.

"Hidden Charges"

If I had a dollar for every time a bride and groom asked me about "hidden charges" I would be in a higher tax bracket.  I can't hide charges-the estimate is clearly written and my services described in detail.  What I find most brides and grooms are referring to are service fees such as a "cake cutting charge" or "corkage charge."  I personally do not charge separately to cut a wedding cake, as my wedding "package plan" includes it.  Some caterers may "a la carte" each part of the reception, especially if they do not own their own equipment and rent all of the tableware and serving pieces. Rentals can be costly so they must pass the cost on to the customer.  

Corkage fees for the service of alcoholic beverages are necessary and generally accepted.  If a caterer is asked to serve someone else's alcoholic beverages and provide the necessary glassware, ice, bar accessories and personnel a corkage fee is definitely necessary.  Those glasses aren't free and someone will have to bus them up, wash them and put them away.  Ice, chilling tubs and bar accessories must be provided.  Hourly pay, workman's compensation and liability insurance also come into play -- bartending  is costly and a liability for both  the caterer and bartender.  A bartender is legally bound to follow state law regarding the minimum drinking age and can also be held liable if an obviously drunk guest continues to be served.  At times bartenders must contend with hostility when they ask for an I.D. or confiscate an alcoholic beverage which was given to an adult guest who then passed it on to a minor.  It is surprising how many people believe the law does not apply to private events or who simply protest "But this is a wedding!" 

If a cake-cutting charge or corkage charge is being applied perhaps you could avoid the charge if you purchased the cake and bar beverages from the caterer.  Compare the caterers selling price to the bakery and liquor store, add the service charge and go with the best over-all price.  Nothing on your final bill should be a surprise.  Before you sign a contract think of everything you will need and see if it's included.  Here are some items and services you may need to check on:
Insurance
Security Guard
Event Supervisor
Parking Attendant/Parking Fee
Extra Space/Overtime Charges
Dance Floor
Public Address System
Equipment and Tableware
Linens
Tables and Chairs
Set-Up Fees

Know what is included before you sign a contract so you will not later feel like a victim of "hidden charges."

Visit Weddings in Marin for wedding service providers who are located in Marin and know Marin.