Forgotten Venues

I've been reading the wedding blogs and conferring with wedding planners and it seems that a person can't host a wedding in California for under $20,000.  Consider the Napa wine country and you might want to push that to $40,000.  We're not talking about celebrity weddings or weddings of the rich and famous. These are weddings for the average person hosting a wedding between 85 and 150 guests. 

A huge part of the variable is the cost of the venue.  There are so many gorgeous, lush vineyards with mansions, castles, circus tents, etc. to choose from.  There's even a cave blasted into a mountain-side that makes for the perfect candle-lit dinner.  Then there are the public buildings-museums, historical buildings, former military posts-all of which are drop-dead impressive and equally drop-dead expensive.  The idea seems to be that weddings can happen anywhere you can pitch a tent, install porta-potties and drive in a party rental company truck filled with furniture and tableware.  Don't even worry about a kitchen. As I've been told on more than one occasion-caterers love to stage their own kitchens out in the middle of no-where.

With all that said and with no criticism of the trend, what about the brides and grooms out there who don't have that 20,000-40,000 budget? 

I've read in the blogs that you should just elope.  You can get an "elopement package" and have the time of your lives by yourselves.  Who needs Grandma at the wedding anyway?  She only remembered your birthday since you were born and babysat and bought your school fundraising products and watched your games...

If eloping doesn't make it in your family then figure out your budget and keep your venue search as close to home as possible.  Look for places with reasonable prices that already have 90% of what you need for your reception-look at your local restaurants and event centers.  Restaurants and event centers have a roof, a kitchen, bathrooms, tables and chairs, parking, staff, and a huge amount of experience in helping with all types of celebrations and receptions.  Be upfront about your budget and let the in-house event planner or owner-manager explain what they can do for you within that budget.   

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"Hidden Charges"

If I had a dollar for every time a bride and groom asked me about "hidden charges" I would be in a higher tax bracket.  I can't hide charges-the estimate is clearly written and my services described in detail.  What I find most brides and grooms are referring to are service fees such as a "cake cutting charge" or "corkage charge."  I personally do not charge separately to cut a wedding cake, as my wedding "package plan" includes it.  Some caterers may "a la carte" each part of the reception, especially if they do not own their own equipment and rent all of the tableware and serving pieces. Rentals can be costly so they must pass the cost on to the customer.  

Corkage fees for the service of alcoholic beverages are necessary and generally accepted.  If a caterer is asked to serve someone else's alcoholic beverages and provide the necessary glassware, ice, bar accessories and personnel a corkage fee is definitely necessary.  Those glasses aren't free and someone will have to bus them up, wash them and put them away.  Ice, chilling tubs and bar accessories must be provided.  Hourly pay, workman's compensation and liability insurance also come into play -- bartending  is costly and a liability for both  the caterer and bartender.  A bartender is legally bound to follow state law regarding the minimum drinking age and can also be held liable if an obviously drunk guest continues to be served.  At times bartenders must contend with hostility when they ask for an I.D. or confiscate an alcoholic beverage which was given to an adult guest who then passed it on to a minor.  It is surprising how many people believe the law does not apply to private events or who simply protest "But this is a wedding!" 

If a cake-cutting charge or corkage charge is being applied perhaps you could avoid the charge if you purchased the cake and bar beverages from the caterer.  Compare the caterers selling price to the bakery and liquor store, add the service charge and go with the best over-all price.  Nothing on your final bill should be a surprise.  Before you sign a contract think of everything you will need and see if it's included.  Here are some items and services you may need to check on:
Insurance
Security Guard
Event Supervisor
Parking Attendant/Parking Fee
Extra Space/Overtime Charges
Dance Floor
Public Address System
Equipment and Tableware
Linens
Tables and Chairs
Set-Up Fees

Know what is included before you sign a contract so you will not later feel like a victim of "hidden charges."

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Where’s the cake?

As I write this there are people camped out all over the country protesting the state of the American economy.  Unemployment is high, foreclosures continue and life for the 99% does not seem as comfortable as it was for the previous generation of  Americans.

Amidst all of this you are ready to get married.  It’s your turn to take the next step and face the future.  Marriage is the ultimate challenge, even in good economic times, but adversity never stops people in love.  If you are ready to start a new life together you’re going to do it.  How you do it will reflect your creativity and ingenuity.  Look back three and four generations and see how your great-grandparents and grandparents were married.   What’s been traditional for your family?

As an event planner I help with every kind of milestone family celebration—events which often need a venue, a caterer, music, photography, specialty cake, etc.  I’ve helped plan 50^th anniversaries for couples who never had a formal reception on their wedding day for reasons varying from the economy, to wartime, to spontaneity.  These couples raised families and enjoyed and now miss the struggles, challenges, and little victories they experienced in half a century of married life.  They don’t really regret missing out on the fairy-tale wedding because they have been living, for the most part, the “happily ever after” part of the tale.

So get the Kardashian wedding out of your head.  You can’t top Kim’s wedding budget but you can definitely top the longevity of her marriage.  If there is a lesson to be learned from this example of a 1%-ers wedding it’s simply this—find the right person for you and then don’t let the wedding plans and budget get out of hand. 


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You Have A Friend...

Today more than ever I see brides and grooms calling upon their friends and family to help with the wedding.  This could be the best idea ever or... perhaps not.  It's a lot of fun to gather up the Martha Stewart books and bridal magazines to find out what's in style. The articles help you develop a theme and offer advice on every aspect of the engagement, wedding ceremony and reception and honeymoon.

 As you look it all over you may start to think about your friend who's a DJ, your friend who loves flowers, your friend who bakes the best cakes ever, and your friend who is a hobby-chef.  Every family has at least one amateur photographer.  You start to wonder if you really need professional wedding services.

Most volunteerism will be squelched at the very start when the venue you want allows only licensed caterers and requires you to use in-house services and/or vendors from a preferred list.  Ask the venue wedding coordinator what services you may be allowed to provide.

If you really want to go with "friends and family" you might consider a home wedding or renting a community hall with less stringent rules.

Asking for help may be harder than you expect.  Some friends will decline the honor. Consider the wedding cake:  The wedding cake is an important, symbolic, traditional centerpiece of a wedding reception.  Does your friend want to be responsible for this?  Would you hire a bakery to make a wedding cake for the very first time?  Probably not.  Your friend will angst about it for months prior to the wedding and pour money, sweat and tears into that cake.

 I have seen many ceremonies and receptions which called upon the talents of friends and relatives as well as hired professional services to take care of the "heavy lifting."  Friends may love decorating and arranging flowers but they won't stick around to help with the dishes.  Once a volunteer has a glass of wine or takes a twirl on the dance floor that person becomes a guest.

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How To Get Started

When you start to plan a wedding it is a simple idea.  You want to marry the person you love and settle down together.  You've been a guest at weddings and they were so much fun.  Food, music, dancing - everyone was happy.  Now it's your turn.  You might also remember that one wedding you attended that wasn't that great.  They ran out of food, the DJ talked too much, the photographer monopolized the wedding couple... not so much fun.   

Memories of what was great and what was not so great will help get you started.  After that it is up to you to research options and narrow down to a day, time of day, site of ceremony, site of reception, and a multitude of other detail-riddled parts to the puzzle your wedding day will become.

 

The Internet

The internet is filled with information.  Refine your search to desired geographic locations and then open the can of worms.  Everyone wants your business.  Every bit of information is an advertisement or advice from someone who will benefit when the advice is taken.  (I am writing this piece hoping you will discover who I am and what I provide for weddings in my area.)    If a venue is listed in Here Comes The Guide remember there is a fee involved.  Specially certified, pre-screened, pre-qualified, award-winning, and generally highly-recommended venues and services somehow pay for those distinctions. 

Set the accolades aside and find out for yourself.  When you call a venue does someone answer the phone?  Can you make a site tour appointment?  Can you know the general price range before the tour to know if it's within your budget?  If you send an email is it answered promptly?   Find out who you need to deal with and speak with that person.   Will that person still be there next summer when your wedding actually takes place? 

 

First (and Second) Impressions

When you gather a ton of information remember that it's 1,999 pounds too much. You need to be selective along the way so you can remember what was worth considering.  You will need to narrow down and then re-examine your favorite venues. The choice regarding wedding ceremony site and reception site is the hardest decision to make.  Not only should those sites be beautiful and fitting for a wedding --they also need to be affordable to you, accessible, and easy to work with.  If you find yourself jumping through too many hoops ask yourself if it's worth it.  Remember that you are the customer.

 

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